Tired, feeling sick, overwhelmed... and I haven't even left the U.S.

I flew into DC last night and got into my hotel near midnight. Today was just as tiring.

I visited the McClatchy DC bureau for the first time today and met some of the editors. While I was there, I found myself shopping in Macy's and Radioshack (the only stores around the downtown DC area I was in) at the last second to try and find items I didn't know until today that I needed. Didn't have much luck... In the end, I spent much of the day going up and down the 10 stories to the office and walking around the blocks trying to buy things for my own trip and also items that the Baghdad folks had requested from the DC folks . Tiring. Also, I feel like I'm coming down with something.

Despite the craziness, I'm feeling OK. I'm still excited about the trip. In the last few weeks, I feel like I've come to know the Iraqi people in a small way just by paying more attention to news stories and, I guess, dwelling on the fact that I'll be in their country soon. I wish I had been there yesterday when they won the Asian Cup. What an amazing feat. And it shows just how desperately the people want to have a united country and a sense of pride in being Iraqi.

As a side note, I happened to switch on CNN's Wolf Blitzer (who if you ever meet him you will know stands about two feet shorter than he appears on TV), and he had a scholar from the left-leaning Brookings Institute on talking about his recent trip to Iraq and his article in today's NYT that says that "things look much better than before" in Iraq than late 2005, when the op-ed writer took his last tour of the country. That analysis is sure to be controversial, coming from someone and an organization that hasn't always set an upbeat tone about the war.

I want to go in there with an open mind. I feel I'm somewhat aware of the reality (without having been there yet), but obviously hope for the best.

Tomorrow, I will fly to Detroit, wait an hour, then haul it 12 hours to Amman. Because I will be flying forward in time, I will arrive in Amman in the morning the next day, even though I'll have left DC in the morning. So tomorrow will be the longest day of my life. Literally.

In Amman, I will chill out for a day, and then fly into Baghdad. Pray for me.

Colbert speaks for... all of America?

I happened to catch part of the alter-ego-of-Bill-O'Reilly show tonight. He went off on how the media's job of reporting on Iraq is too "easy" -- all you do is plug in a death toll and throw in some background, was his point, I guess. I don't blame him, in some ways, since it's easy to become apathetic or even tired of hearing about the violence in a country far, far away. But at the same time, what he said obviously hit me in a very personal way. I wonder how my articles will be perceived or read. Will they just be formulaic and mundane -- and even if they are not, will people simply gloss over the headline and not read the story?

I guess I'd be naive to think that it wouldn't be the case for at least a good chunk of readers. Before finding out I was going to Iraq, I paid a decent amount of attention to what was going on over there, but there were definitely times when I simply didn't feel like reading about the latest bombing. So how can I blame others... or Colbert?

This all leads to the question: What, if anything, can I do in my stories to bring to life the significance, or, perhaps more importantly, the anecdotal, real life experience that Iraqis endure? It'll be a thought I'll be mulling arond in my head.

Baghdad Beard

During my week of vacation, I started growing a beard in the hopes that it will help me blend in with society in Iraq a little better... but I'm not sure if it's turning out the way I had hoped. It's pretty reddish, which gives away my Dad's Irish background, and isn't necessarily a middle eastern look. Should it stay or go?

back home, eating salt

This week I've been on vacation with the fam. We hung out in Seaside, Oregon, and did some boogey-boarding and body surfing... both of which involve eating salty sea water in involuntarily large amounts. Tomorrow, I go paint-balling with my my younger brother and his teenage friends for his birthday. Is this really a vacation?

I'm reading Rajiv Chandrasekaran's "Imperial Life in the Emerald City" after getting almost half-way through the 600-page tome "Cobra II" (I got to the end of the pre-war politics and more into the logistics of the battles... interesting stuff, but I'll read it later). Rajiv's book is pretty interesting, but a little more pointed than Cobra II, which has the feel of a fascinating history book. In "Imperial Life" there is the story of a 24-year-old who had no training in economics but was given one month to prepare for a trip to Iraq and then, when he got there, was told he was in charge of restarting the Baghdad Stock Exchange. As you may expect, the guy was bewildered at how quickly he got shipped off to Iraq and at what an awesome responsibility he was given. As I read about this guy's experience, I found myself easily empathizing with him. Hey, that's how I feel, I thought. But I guess that's Iraq.

This next week will be busy. I'll be doing a lot of prepping for leaving to Iraq, and prepping for leaving my job for two months. Pray it goes smoothly.

Mines, snipers, IEDs, mortars, and ... badgers

What will they think of next?

The dangers are clear, folks. I think this is the last straw. I'm staying in my hotel and never sticking my head out. And I'll probably set up some large rodent traps in the hallway, just in case.

"Giant 'corpse-eating' badgers terrorise Iraqi city": (http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22056697-2,00.html?from=mostpop)

Report the good news!

Maybe it's just because I'm living in the conservative Central Valley, but it seems that many who hear that I'm going to Iraq tell me something like: "Good, go report the good news. All the media focusses on is the bad news."

Of course, any good journalist's gut reaction to that statement is: How about I report whatever news is going on, good or bad?

Although I hope to find encouraging stories during my time in Iraq, I can almost guarantee that the majority of them will not be rosy. Part of the problem is that the bad news vastly overshadows the good news. Anyone who reads McClatchy's daily violence report gets a sampling of just how much bad news is out there. Although the two countries obviously can't be compared, the crimes committed in Iraq that amount to only one-sentence blurbs would be headline-grabbing stories if they were committed in the states. And these crimes are committed on a daily basis.

For example, take yesterday's violence report (read it regularly at http://www.mcclatchydc.com/iraq/). By themselves, the incidents could be explained away as just the things that happen in a big city that is suffering from sectarian killings. But taken together, and compounded every day, they paint a frustrating picture.

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Baghdad

- Three civilians were killed and four others wounded in a parked car bomb explosion near Al Hurriyah square in Karrada Kharij neighborhood (Karrada out) downtown Baghdad at 10:34 a.m.

- Ten civilians were injured in a parked car bomb explosion near Ali Al Lami restaurant in Jadriyah neighborhood downtown Baghdad around 10:35 a.m.

- Gunmen assassinated a high ranking officer working for the Ministry of Defense. Col. Jawad Kadhim was assassinated near the building of the Ministry of Finance in Waziriyah neighborhood east Baghdad early morning Sunday.

- Three policemen working for the Ministry of Electricity were killed by gunmen in Waziriyah neighborhood east Baghdad around 11:30 a.m.

- Gunmen broke in the house of a four-member family in Ghazaliyah neighborhood west Baghdad and took them in a car then killed them few meters away from their house. The incident happened around 1:00 p.m.

- Around 2:00 p.m., gunmen broke into a house in Al Jami’aa neighborhood west Baghdad killing the father and injuring his two daughters.

- 10 volunteers were killed and 30 others injured when a suicide truck bomb broke in a volunteering center in Al Haswa neighborhood west of Baghdad around 2:00 p.m.

- Twenty-nine bodies were found in Baghdad Sunday. Seventeen bodies were found in Karkh, the western side of Baghdad in the following neighborhoods (seven bodies in Al mail, four bodies in Al bayaa, three bodies in Saidiyah, two bodies in Doura and one body in Ghazaliyah). Twelve bodies were found in Rusafa, the eastern side of Baghdad in the following neighborhoods (four bodies in Adhemiyah, three bodies in Sleikh, three bodies in Ur and two bodies in Baghdad Al Jadida).

Diyala

- Two gunmen were injured and captured by the Iraqi security forces in clashes in Al Mualimeen and Salama neighborhoods in Miqdadiyah town northeast Baquba early Sunday morning.

- The morgue of Baquba public hospital received Sunday the bodies of five civilians, which were evacuated from Buhruz town 5 kms south of Baquba. The hospital also received 25 injured civilians from the same town. A security source said that gunmen attacked the town with mortar shells early morning today.

- Secuirty forces in Khalis town north of Baquba city said that two civilians from one family were killed and another seven wounded when gunmen attacked the town with mortar shells Sunday morning.

Kirkuk

- Gunmen attacked the building of the Patriotic Union of Kurdistan party (PUK) in Al Uroba neighborhood south Kirkuk Saturday night. The guards of the building responded to the fire killing one of the gunmen, police said.

- Police patrols found two unidentified bodies Sunday in Domeez neighborhood south Kirkuk.

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What's a few degrees?

My days in Fresno, it turns out, are simply just a warm-up for my coming days in Baghdad.

It's been hot here in the Valley. About 110 every day last week. That's slightly cooler than what Yahoo says I should expect in Baghdad ... a cool 116 or 117 on most days. I guess that's good news: If I can survive 110, what's to say 117 won't be a breeze? We'll have to see. I just hope the hotel I'll be staying in has central a/c, unlike the house I'm living in now.

Why I'm going

When people ask me why I'm going to Iraq, I'm sure they usually expect a well thought-out response. But I don't have one... it's more of a hodge-podge of reasons that sort of are all mixed together.

The first reason is simple: If I'm going to do something like this, it would seem like now would be the right time in life to go for it. No mortgage, no kids, no wife, no girlfriend, no online dating prospects, nothing...

The second reason is that for the last few years I've seriously thought about going overseas. The idea of writing for an English-language paper in a non-Western country or working as a foreign correspondent has definitely appealed to me. So I guess this is an answer to prayer... which is yet another great reminder that you should always be careful about what you pray for, especially if you really mean it. Don't get me wrong, though, I'm definitely thankful. Like I've mentioned before, it's an opportunity I never thought was a possibility... but it's always too easy to forget that God doesn't think like us and doesn't get stuck on possibilities.

Coupled with this idea is also a bit of restlessness and an itch for seeing the rest of the world... I've read about it, but I really would like to live it. I don't want to go through my whole life not understanding the world. I guess if seeing more of the world is an itch, going to Baghdad is like using sandpaper to scratch it.

The third reason is that I'm curious. I'd like to see for myself what's going on Iraq. What's the reality? Is it as bad as it seems? Is there any hope? No better way of finding out than going, it seems. In fact, the reason I'm writing this blog today is because, on the anniversary of Independence Day, the question comes up: Will Iraqis be able to celebrate an independence day of their own some time in the future? If that is at all possible is of course the big question.

A friend of mine said yesterday that all my reasons sounded logical. I said: "Then how did I come up with such a crazy conclusion?"

That's a question I'll be able to answer only after years of therapy...